They met up on the mountain where the fat cats play, Da-Do-Enron-Ron, Da-Do-Enron; that greasy little shyster name of Kenneth Lay, Da-Do-Enron-Ron, Da-Do-Enron; yeah, he robbed ‘em from inside; yeah, and it was quite a ride; he’ll soon be someone’s prison bride; Da-Do-Enron-Ron, Da-Do-Enron... I picture the moment, inside a real penitentiary (not some white collar BoysTown), when Big Leon strokes Kenny’s smooth, tan, terrified skull and says, “You got a real purty mouth...” I know it’s too much to ask, but a boy can dream, can’t he? (I also know that I am waaaayyyy too old to be surprised by the rapacious sense of entitlement of the Big Oil-Overfed-Old Boy Land Grabbers, but these chaps are chart-toppers in any century)... And speaking of hypocrisy; $5 billion is on its way to Afghanistan to “rebuild,” but there are some strings. To keep track of the dough, proper accounting procedures must be in place. What? Yes, 71 0f 100 senators, the entire executive branch, and the Bush/Cheney Energy team all spoke from deep within Enron’s pockets to call for the secure distribution of funds. Arthur Andersen has been contacted to start cooking the books ASAP. Now we know the dough will be “properly” distributed... Speaking of gluttony, Ted Kennedy and Dick Cheney, the New Cardiac Twins, have begun the new year with the “Who can have the Flushest, Fattest Face without a Vessel Actually Bursting” contest. Watch this space for news... Speaking of greedy and nuts, Winona Ryder could not be reached for comment about her recent cash-free spree. She was out “shopping”... I don’t mean to harp, but shouldn’t the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful military force in history be able to correctly pronounce the most deadly weapon in the arsenal? Hell, even the folks at the Crawford Cafe know it ain’t nu-qu-lar that them Pakis got. Nu-Cle-ar, Dubya. Even the dogs and the *#@%in’ pretzels know. And by the way, does anyone else interpret “83% job approval” as, “We never dreamed you’d come so far.” And if so, doesn’t that say more about expectations than actual performance? Just curious... Baseball and chartered airplanes are fast upon us. Muff is beseeching all the gods and fallen executives to, pleeezz, let there be Fly Naked Airlines, if only during the season...
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